Sex in the Suburbs

In order to prevent Tessa from using the XL condoms George discovered in her bedroom, he has to find something for her to do that’s more fun than sex. He decides a board game night with her BFFs, Lisa and Malik, would be the best plan of action. Sadly, Tessa is less than impressed by the board game event and chooses a night out with Scott Strauss instead. The funny thing is, George has nothing to be worry about because Tessa is having a terribly boring time on the date. Scott Strauss can only focus on one topic: Zambia. In fact, Tessa is about to dump him right then and there but they run into Dalia. It’s impossible to pass up a golden opportunity to make Dalia jealous. Tessa is left no choice but to grab Scott Strauss right in front of her frenemy and demand, “Kiss me like I’m Africa.”

George, who is still torn up about the discovering the condoms, comes clean to Tessa. He shows her what he found and she freaks out because he was looking through her room again. At first she toys with the idea of pretending she’s a sex-crazed maniac to teach George a lesson, but then common sense gets the better of her. After all, Scott Strauss is REALLY boring and it’s just not worth the effort pretending to be into him. Even though Scott offers George a goat as a sign of respect for his daughter, Tessa ends up dumping him anyway. In case you’re wondering, she keeps the goat.

Meanwhile, Dallas discovers her husband has been sleeping with a size M/L after she finds the tramp’s panties in her husband’s pocket. She takes them straight to her lawyer for evidence of his infidelity. A little later in the day she realizes she is long overdue for a divorce. What’s the point of holding onto something that’s just not right?

George is also coming to a very similar conclusion. He has a one-night stand with the girl who works at the country club, Jocelyn, but realizes it’s a big mistake after she gives him a hard time for not calling her. Maybe one-night stands are a thing of George’s past. It may seem like Chatswin is filled with unhappy endings, but there is one small silver lining on the horizon. Now that Dallas has left her husband, what does that mean for her and George? Looks like we’ll just have to wait and see.